The everyday gifts of raising small children; maintaining a home; shuttling people to and fro; staying in contact with my friends, my commitments, my STUFF, etc. paired with the massive amount of crazy chaos I have going on in my mind at any given time make these peace-filled moments more than a luxury - for me, they are necessary. I am an emotional intense person - I tend to feel things with my entire being and it can be hard to shut those reactions down without experiencing them. If I go too long without having time to process and refocus, I get short, critical, cranky, and downright angry. It's not good for anyone, but especially my children. I have been the bearer of much guilt over the outbursts that have erupted from the volcano of my mouth when I am feeling worn-out and over stretched far too may times.
As much I need the peace moment for ME, I also need it for THEM. One of the greatest gifts I can impart to my little people, is being in control of myself and not letting MY feelings affect the way I treat those around me. I need to model for them how paying attention to your own emotions helps you pay into those around you. I want to teach my children empathy and compassion towards others, but just as important, is to teach them to show it towards themselves.
Accepting my personality has brought with it the stark realization that I NEED CERTAIN THINGS that NO OTHER HUMAN can provide for me. I need Jesus to put that peace in my life, to grant me rest throughout the day, to hand my emotions over to. Peaceful moments to myself make this possible. They are essential to maintaining the life I want to have and I want my children to experience. In order for me to fill their tanks with what they need, I need to also fill my own.
The issue often stems from how, as a stay at home (and currently homeschooling) mom, does one find these moments? For me, the most important one is often the hardest. I am a sleep junkie, and I must deny this human desire to get in the frame of mind I most need. A classic example of "denying the flesh." I find my days are smoothest when I start my morning in sync with my Lord. I receive a devotion in my email from Proverbs 31 Ministries and I have to push myself when I wake, to sit up, rub the sleep from my eyes and meet with God through this devotion first........ Before I get up, before I check the other emails, before I do anything else. It is necessary and it sets the tone for my day. I know it's right because it's hard. If it was fluff, why would the Evil One waste his time messing with it? No, God sets the tone for my day. My days where this time is missed are rough, chaotic, and grumpy. I find myself mid-morning asking, "What is different about today?!" and it's that God's time was missed. Nothing can take it's place, of the effect isn't the same.
The others I may need as the day progresses are often stolen. I sneak a chapter or a few pages of a good book in whilst taking a break from doing laundry. I check emails while doing baths or making lunch. I sit at the computer while my kids are finishing schoolwork and read Facebook, blogs, or, heaven forbid, lose a half hour on Pinterest. These things bring my emotional intensity down to a calm place, so I can get on with the day. I also am trying fervently to end my day in prayer, writing down my petitions and praises, and being mindful about bringing my people before God each day. This time brings me back full circle and pushes those wordly voices out.
I hope my honesty with my kids on "Momma needs a quiet minute" teaches them something. That their Momma is not a superhero. She has struggles and stresses that can try to steal the joy from her day. But, she is also a child of God, just as they are, and in order to make every day flow, she needs to hand Him her stuff ALL. DAY. LONG. Even if that means she needs a minute to herself. Someday, they too, may feel overwhelmed and crushed by stress. Then, I hope my need for a moment here and there, and my honesty about taking them, enables them to take a quiet moment too. .
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